Kate and My Migraine

Now Katie knows I get migraines. She knows when I have one I had in my room with a pillow and ice on my head. She knows I don’t like to talk or be bothered. For Kate this is an opportunity to test me.

Test 1: 9AM – The most terrifying words a mother could hear from a child.
Kate: Mom
Me: What?
Kate: My eye hurts!

I sit bolt upright.

Me: Don’t touch anything!!! LOOK AT ME! LOOK! LET ME SEE YOUR EYES

They’re perfectly white. No pink. No ooze. No more terror.

Me: You’re fine, it’s probably from letting the cat sleep on your pillow. Go wash your hands.
Kate: Why do I need to wash my hands?
Me: Because I am insane, humor me.

Test 2: A Bowl of Cereal

She got up at 9am and wanted a bowl of cereal. There was no chance of waking her father, because I had him up until after 4am whining about my head. He was out like a light. I was up. So she came asked for cereal, like 37 times. Now she can make her own cereal, except she wanted Rice Krispies and they were on top of the fridge. I got up, made my way down the stairs, slowly. Stop on the couch a bit to keep from puking, and then go to the kitchen.

I get the Rice Krispies she gets milk, flat marshmallows, and frozen raspberries. I ask what all that is, and she says it goes in her cereal. I go back to the couch.

Kate: Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mom…
Me: What?!
Kate: you’re supposed to be making cereal.
Me: I know Kate, I am going to puke.
Kate: Okay I will cut up the marshmallow with a little knife.

In my head this is scarier than puking so I get up and chop up the marshmallow, dump the raspberries and milk in, and head back for the couch. Kate comes in turns on the TV, and turns it toward the dining room, and then goes to eat. I go back to my bedroom, and assume the pillow/ice pack position. About 5 minutes later Kate comes in.

Kate: I decided I don’t like raspberries any more.
Me: What’d you do with your cereal.
Kate: Nothing.
Me: Go put it by the sink. I will take care of it when I get up again.
Kate: Just kidding. I gave it to the cat. The milk will make him fart.
Me: Nice… there better not be a mess.

Test 3: An Egg

About an hour after Kate had cereal she wanted an egg.

Kate: Mom?
Me: What?
Kate: I want an egg from the fridge.
Me: All the eggs in the fridge need cooked. (For some reason my brain was telling me she wanted a hard boiled egg.)
Kate: I know. That is why I am telling you. I want an egg.
Me: I can’t cook an egg right now.
Kate: Well my father is sleeping. I want an egg.
Me: What kind of egg? (I am trying to figure out if I can reasonably cook an egg.)
Kate: Scrambled, but different colors.
Me: What color eggs do you want.
Kate: Yellow.
Me: Scrambled eggs are yellow! I will make an egg in a little bit.

Kate goes away. I don’t know how long. I think I fell asleep.

Kate: Mom. You said you would make an egg.
Me: Kate, my head hurts I am working on it.
Kate: Okay I am hungry for an egg.
Me: Alright. Can’t you ask your dad for an egg?
Kate: No you need to make it. I want it colors.
Me: But eggs are already yellow. Your dad can make it.
Kate: ughhhhh.

She leaves again. I don’t know how long.

Kate: Mom. You said you would make an egg.
Me: I know Kate.
Kate: You are not making an egg. You still have a pillow on your head.
Me: I know Kate.
Kate: Are you going to make me an egg?
Me: Eventually, otherwise you are going to be standing on my grave asking where your egg is.
Kate: Okay.. just make the egg soon.

Kate leaves. A few minutes later StudPuppy comes in and puts an arm around me.

Me: Let me go.
Studpuppy: Why?
Me: I have to go make Kate an egg. She has been bugging me for an egg all day. She’s never going to leave me alone.
…waits…
Me: Seriously, let me go. I don’t think she is going to go for “your dad is holding me hostage.” She is due back in here any minute now.

Within 5 minutes of me saying that the door opens.

Kate: Mom. Egg.
Me: I can’t, your dad is holding me hostage.
Kate: Just move his arm.
Me: I can’t
Kate: I think he loves you.
Me: I think so too.
Kate: Okay, just remember I want an egg.
Me: I know…

Kate leaves, I start to get up.

StudPuppy: Goin’?
Me: To make her friggin’ egg that she is not going to eat.

I go, I make the egg to her exact specifications. She takes 3 bites and says “I just remembered, I wanted a dippy egg.”

I say, “I am not making a damn dippy egg. You eat that egg! I am not making you anything else today! If you get hungry you eat that egg!” Then I go back to my room. I start hear thunder, and notice it is super dark. Since there is nothing I love more, and find more relaxing than a thunder storm, I ended up passing out for a bit.

The trials end here, because I kick StudPuppy out of the bedroom.